The Unexpected Gifts of Partnership: From Triggers to Trust
Here are 8 things I wouldn’t have learned if it wasn’t for my relationship, and now marriage 👇🏼
How to overcome my avoidant tendencies
Telling my partner exactly how I feel and in the moment when I’m feeling it, and learning to say it before waiting for me to draft up the “perfect” way to say it
Overcoming the fear of being misunderstood. And if it does happen, overcoming my brain drafting up the worst-case-scenario situation of what that could mean (he doesn’t love me, he doesn’t care, our marriage is over, etc.)
Learning about where my clean home standards came from and letting that go. Learning how to relax and rest, no matter the conditions of my home. Learning how to rest without having to clean first.
Recognizing triggers like seeing men sitting on the couch when I come home from work. Uprooting wherever that came from and replacing it with healthier reframes.
Overcoming my hypervigilance - I would brace myself and watch out for “signs” that my husband is just like everyone else (my body remembers my past and would get triggered, which I didn’t know was possible). Relaxing and trusting into the fact that he is a damn saint 🥲
That I’m capable of being in a relationship that’s longer than 1.5 years! And that sometimes relationships do get better over time. If there is a desire in both partners to work on things together, then that’s all that matters. We’ve been to couples therapy, individual coaching, and individual therapy each and now we here.
It warms my heart that we still enjoy cuddling and spending time together. Honestly, did not expect to be here after all the shiznit I been through. I told myself I was willing to wait until I was 75+ yo for a relationship like this but I guess the universe wanted me to experience it sooner!
A lot of finding the “right” person for me was the years of personal growth prep work I did prior to seriously dating to also be the “right” person in relationship. You don’t need another self-help book. Contact me for more info on private coaching 💛
