Balancing Act: Navigating Self-Love, Overcommitment, and Well-Being
Learning to say no when necessary is an act of self-love and a step towards building closer connections with both yourself and those around you. It draws people meant for you closer, fostering deeper connections. Saying no also helps conserve your precious energy and allows you to dictate how you spend your time in the way that's best for you.
In the past, I used to say yes to everything, and it eventually led to burnout. I overcommitted to school and social gatherings, often sacrificing my sleep to keep up. I prioritized caring for others over myself because I was not in tune with my energy levels, needs, or desires. Instead, I let my external environment dictate how I spent my time.
While there were some enjoyable moments in this lifestyle, it left me exhausted, spending days just recovering. This eventually led to cycles of burnout and emotional breakdowns, leaving me desperate for alone time and self-care.
With time and experience, I've adopted a different approach when I'm uncertain about how to use my time. I take a moment to sit in stillness, connect with my body, and ask myself, "What would I like to do right now? What do I feel like doing?" This helps me avoid the trap of constantly "should-ing" myself, always feeling there's more I should or could be doing.
Slowing down this process instead of jumping into the next task allows me to tune into my needs and desires. Instead of multitasking and feeling overwhelmed, I recognize that when I’m tired, it's okay to simply lay down and practice breath-work, meditation, or yoga nidra after a busy day. The point is to do something that is energy-giving rather than energy-depleting.
As someone recovering from being an overachiever and overcommitter who thrived on maximizing every minute, I still encounter internal resistance when trying to slow down and do one thing at a time. However, another part of me grants permission to embrace this practice. It's an act of self-love and self-care, a reminder to slow down, rest when needed, and check in with myself throughout the day.
In moments when I feel overwhelmed, I repeat the affirmation to myself: "I have plenty of time" or "there is plenty of time." This simple phrase helps me regain control over my schedule and prioritize self-care.
Self-Reflection Prompts
What areas in your life do you find yourself constantly "should-ing" yourself, feeling like there's always more to do? How does this impact your well-being?
Consider your current approach to time management and task prioritization. What adjustments could you make to better align with your needs and desires?
Consider your current relationships. Are there any that could benefit from more open communication about your boundaries and the importance of saying no when necessary?
Try the practice of sitting in stillness and asking yourself, "What would I like to do right now?" How does this help you tune into your needs and desires?
Are you ready to take the next step in your journey towards self-love, self-care, and creating a life that truly aligns with your needs and desires? I invite you to join me for a free coaching call where we can delve deeper into your unique challenges and aspirations. Together, we'll explore practical strategies to help you say no when necessary, prioritize self-care, and build more meaningful connections with yourself and those around you.
